For Mothers of Boys – And Brides – The Moral


Well, I promised the moral of “For Mothers of Boys – And Young Brides,” (November 5th), so here we go…  (You’ll want to read that first, if you haven’t yet…)  


The “Daydream” surely was a sneak peek into your heart as a mother of a son.  But, I have a confession.   It was also a sacred look into your mother-in-law’s heart!   That’s right.  It was meant to give you a deeper understanding of your husband’s mother.  


Every bride starts out with the same longing to build a strong, healthy, happy family with the guy of her dreams.  That’s your dream, isn’t it?  But have you ever stopped to consider that your husband’s mother had those same goals that you have now?  That she was also a bride in love with her husband and with dreams for her children?  Once upon a time, she was in your shoes.  And, if you’re a mother right now, some day you will be in hers.  Yes, you are, right now, a mother-in-law-to-be.  


What kind will you be?


What kind of daughter-in-law are you now? 


Think of how much you adore your son.  You desire the very best for him.  You’re sacrificing and investing your very life in the welfare of your children; everything revolves around them.  Can you imagine how it will feel, then, when the day finally comes that a young lady arrives on the scene who absolutely captivates your son?  When he is hopelessly smitten?  Will this girl, who holds his heart, be justified in calling him a “Mama’s boy” if he simply continues to show you love and respect?  Have you given thought to how it will feel to be treated as though you’re an intruder?  (What?  Intruding in something into which you’ve poured the best years of your life?)


In my book, “Secrets About Guys (that shouldn’t be secret),”  I”ve devoted a whole chapter to this topic.  I’m not saying there’s no such thing as a meddling mother-in-law.  (Heavens!  I know one bride whose mother-in-law insisted on accompanying the newlyweds on their honeymoon!) 


I just want to encourage you to sow good seeds for your future.  The Scriptural law of Sowing and Reaping is universal.  If you wish to have your heart intact when your children marry, now is the ideal time to cultivate love and understanding with your husband’s mother.  Treat her the way you will want to be treated by the girl who captivates your son.   


There are lots of tips for this in my book.  I suppose I should apologize for that last sentence as shameless promotion  🙂  but I’m not going to because, when we’re in harmony with our in-laws, everyone benefits.  It is so worth the effort.  And, one day, when it is your harvest time, you will be so thankful for making the effort to sow seeds of love.       



10 Responses

  1. I think about that all the time-I have three boys, and I think about what to do and not to do in the future with my D.I.L’s…I want to be a blessing to them!

  2. Yes, I often say to my husband (with a sigh and an air of resignation): “I’m going to be four girls’ mother in law!” Thanks for reminding me that I need not end up a lonely old woman! 🙂

  3. Thanks for this wonderful post! To be honest, I am not the best daughter in law; it’s been one of the most difficult challenges for me in my adult life. The concept of sowing and reaping with my actions and attitudes toward my in-laws has been frequently on my heart and mind, especially as we’re expecting our first little one and I think about that a lot. And to wake up and read your post that mentioned sowing and reaping, well, it certainly wasn’t a coincidence. Thanks so much!

  4. I have not always seen eye to eye with my in laws or the way they do things but sometimes you just have to let it go or have strife. We are so DIFFERENT but yet we have a good relationship!
    -sandy toes

  5. My parents-in-law had passed away long before I met my hubby, I often wonder what that relationship would have been like.

    As for my son? Today I’m hoping my future daughter in law will come and take him! Kidding, uh, sort of. 🙂

  6. My brother just got marred, and I have talked to my mother a lot about how it is to see her son leave her for another woman. 🙂 I really do dread that day, although of course I hope to do everything in my power to have a great relationship with my DIL.

    I’m blessed to have a fabulous mother-in-law, and I have always been so thankful for her. I hope to model her behavior when I find myself in her shoes.

  7. LOL. marred = married – there’s some sweet irony in that typo, isn’t there!?

  8. I love my MIL. She loves me. I mean, she got me and my hub together! But I’m going to be that woman who wants to go on the honeymoon with her son.

  9. That was a brilliant moral! I love my mother-in-awe. Avon is the dearest woman on earth who had a MIL who hated her because no one was good enough to marry her son. It’s so sad because Avon had so much love to give, even to the point that she took her MIL to care for her when she had Alzheimer’s and became really mean. Avon set out to never be like Nellie. She vowed then and there that she would love whoever her sons married because she would never pass on that kind of torture to another daughter-in-law. That is wisdom and real-life love indeed!

  10. I think and pray about being a good mother-in law. I pray I will love my daughter in-law as much as my son…it is so hard to turn them over into another woman’s hands.

    Is your book published yet? I would love to read it.

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